


Cullistair Kisses and Other Sweet Moments

by Ginipig



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluffy, Grief/Mourning, Lots of Cullistair Kisses, Love, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Red Lyrium, Two men in love, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2020-01-23 18:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 4,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18555559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginipig/pseuds/Ginipig
Summary: Cullistair kisses to add to Aurlana and Gowombat83's collection because the world always needs more Cullistair kisses :)Edited to add: And sweet moments. Kisses not always required.





	1. Vigil

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aurlana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurlana/gifts), [Gowombat83](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gowombat83/gifts).



> To stick with the collection challenge, I'm going to try to write 100-word drabbles. We'll see how it goes for little ol' wordy me.
> 
> To start, these'll be part of my own little Cullistair universe, but as this goes on, who knows?
> 
> Edited post-chapter 14 to add: The drabble thing has fallen by the wayside, though I aim for it every time! I'm attempting now to keep them between 500 and 1000 words. Yup, an order of magnitude longer! Also, they're no longer all in my own little Cullistair 'verse. Bring on the alternate endings! :D
> 
> Edited pre-chapter 20 to add: These will be however long I damn well please! Though for the "drabbles" I'm hoping to aim for 100-200 words. Not that many (or any) of you care, but thought I'd mention it anyway.

Fifty-two hours since they’d carried Cullen in, unconscious.

Every one felt like a year, and Alistair never left his side.

After twelve, Leliana made him eat.

After twenty-four, the healers grew concerned. They’d healed his injuries. Perhaps the red lyrium in the Emprise had weakened him?

After thirty-six, Alistair started to read aloud from the Chant.

After forty-two, he began to lose hope.

After forty-eight, he started to pray.

At fifty-two hours, a voice rasped, “Must be bad if _you’re_ praying.”

Alistair wept in relief and gratitude and swept Cullen’s quirked lips into a tender, messy, desperate kiss.

 

(99, woo!)


	2. Needed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion to Vigil, because it wasn't finished, I guess :)

"Maker, Andraste, anyone, please. Please don't take him. I need him ..."

Cullen didn't understand. Those words sounded out of place in that voice. He forced his eyes open to find Alistair, on his knees, tears streaming down his face, clutching Cullen's hand to his heart, praying. The kiss that followed made Cullen's heart ache.

Now, Alistair (blatantly disregarding the healers' orders) lay in bed next to him, holding him close in peaceful sleep.

Cullen kissed him softly on the lips before settling into those strong arms to rest.

It had been a long time since someone had needed him.

 

(99)


	3. Sorry

The tower door slammed closed as Alistair approached. Soldiers scampered in every direction.

Stomach churning with guilt and nerves, he knocked and immediately entered.

“What?” Cullen spat. Upon seeing Alistair, his face smoothed, his mouth thinned, and he returned to his work without a word.

Alistair crossed to the desk. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. And —” He tentatively pecked Cullen’s temple. “I love you.”

Cullen didn’t react. Eyes stinging, Alistair moved to leave.

“Me, too.”

Alistair turned, swept into Cullen’s tight embrace.

“Come to bed tonight?”

Alistair nodded, and Cullen responded with a hard, slow kiss.

 

(98)


	4. Late

Cullen sighed, lay down his quill, and rubbed his eyes. The candles had burnt low, and Alistair had climbed the ladder hours ago.

Though they hadn’t been together for long, Cullen had neglected work to spend every free moment with Alistair. He hated that now, given his workload, they’d not be falling asleep together for a while.

He extinguished the lights and headed up the ladder, only to find Alistair nodding off over _Swords and Shields_.

“You didn’t have to stay up.”

Alistair smiled sleepily. “I wanted to kiss you good night.”

Cullen did, and everything felt right again.

 

(99)


	5. Ten Steps Ahead

As Cullen lay in bed holding Alistair, he voiced one of his more frequent thoughts of late.

“During training, I’d never have guessed we would end up here.”

Alistair shrugged shyly. “I noticed you back then, you know.”

Cullen pulled away to see his face, but Alistair blushed and wouldn’t meet his gaze. “One time we sparred shirtless, and I was so distracted by how beautifully you moved that you knocked me on my ass. I was so confused. Took me years to understand —”

Cullen stopped him with a kiss.

“Always ten steps ahead,” he said with a smile.

 

(99)


	6. When Alistair Met Cullen ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, it only took six chapters for me to break my only two rules for this anthology: 1) that each kiss will be 100 words long or fewer, and 2) that the kisses would take place in my own canon setting/timeline.
> 
> Oops.
> 
> I'm not sure where the idea for this one came from, exactly, aside from "rom-com finale." Once I started, I realized I needed more than 100 words to do it justice. It clocks in at just over 2700, and takes place in a modern setting. I hope you enjoy the corny rom-com goodness.
> 
> Content warning: This includes brief overview descriptions of homophobia (external and internalized, including implied religious implications), as well as several references to drug addiction and recovery.

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18640264).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was 2746 words, for those keeping track :)


	7. Just Say It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to our regularly scheduled Cullistair kiss drabbles.

“Go ahead and say it,” Cullen grumbled, gingerly lying down. Everything ached, and he was so thirsty.

Alistair fastidiously arranged some pillows. “I don’t have anything to say right now.”

Cullen laughed, then winced as his head pounded. “You always have something to say after I push too hard. So go on. Say ‘I told you so.’”

Alistair cupped Cullen’s cheek. “All I want to say is that I love you, and I’m grateful that you’re safe. Now get some rest.” He gently kissed Cullen on the forehead, adding quietly, “I’ll say, ‘I told you so,’ when you’re feeling better.”

 

(100)


	8. Few Words

Alistair was tidying when Cullen came up the ladder.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Alistair smiled but continued his tasks, humming to himself. His love was a man of few words.

Cullen sat on the bed. “I love you.”

Alistair blinked in mild surprise. “I love you, too. Where is this coming from?”

“Do I need a reason?” Cullen shrugged. “I just do.”

Alistair sat next to him, eyes stinging. Cullen cupped his cheek and kissed him softly.

“I love you _so much_ ,” he whispered, pulling Alistair into his comforting embrace.

A man of few words, but he always made them count.

 

(99)


	9. Reading

Cullen enjoyed reading quietly before bed.

Alistair flopped down next to him, jostling everything.

“Cullen?”

Cullen turned the page without looking up. “What?”

No response. He finished the next two paragraphs.

“Cullen, guess what.”

_“What?”_

When he finally looked over, Alistair was propped up on an elbow, gazing at Cullen with a sweet smile. “I love you.”

Cullen returned it, frustration evaporating. “I love you, too. Now let me read.”

Less than fifteen seconds of blessed silence.

“Cullen?”

“Wh —”

As he turned, Alistair pecked him quickly on the lips, smiling before rolling over. “Night.”

Cullen sighed. “Good night, Alistair.”

 

(99)


	10. The Real Problem

Cullen had barely started to complain about the meeting before Alistair identified the real problem.

And it wasn’t Leliana’s tactics (“ _Murder_ doesn’t fix everything!”), Josie’s noble friends (“What sort of ‘favors’?”), or the Inquisitor’s poor decisions (“She never takes my advice,” patently false).

As Cullen slumped onto the bed, Alistair knelt behind him, massaging his temples.

Cullen groaned in relief. “How do you always know?”

“If I told you, you’d work harder to hide it.”

Cullen’s head fell back against Alistair’s chest. “I can never hide anything from you.”

Alistair kissed the top of his head. “No, you can’t.”

 

(99)


	11. Deserving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sort-of follow-up to the previous chapter, _The Real Problem_ , but it can also stand alone.
> 
> (Also I broke my rule again. Have ~625 words instead of 100.)

Having somehow figured out Cullen had a headache without him needing to say anything, Alistair was currently massaging his temples.

As the headache finally began to subside, Cullen’s thoughts cleared for the first time in hours, and he decided, once again, that Alistair was perfect for him.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he muttered, eyes closed, head resting against Alistair’s chest behind him.

The massaging of his temples immediately ceased.

He blinked himself back to reality, feeling the bed shift as Alistair moved to sit next to him.

“What?” he asked at Alistair’s frown.

Alistair took his hand. “I wish you wouldn’t say things like that. About deserving me. It makes me feel like I’m some sort of prize —”

“I didn’t mean —” Cullen started.

“— that you have to _earn_ ,” Alistair finished, as though Cullen had never interrupted.

Cullen waited this time, and when Alistair didn’t continue after a moment, he opened his mouth to speak.

But once again, Alistair was ahead of him. “Are you happy, Cullen? With me?”

“Maker, _yes_.” Cullen turned his body and palmed Alistair’s cheek. “I never thought I would find such happiness.”

Alistair smiled, and the sight of it nearly took Cullen’s breath away. “Me, too.” Then his brow furrowed, and he placed his hand over Cullen’s and brought it down so both their joined hands were in his lap. “But I can’t believe happiness is something we have to earn. Lots of people are happy who don’t deserve it, and too many people aren’t who do.”

Cullen stayed silent. He disagreed, at least for himself. If they lived in a just world, he’d be eternally punished for the terrible things he’d done and allowed to happen.

“Do I help you?” Alistair asked. “Do I make some of it … easier for you?”

Cullen rested his forehead against Alistair’s. “Yes. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Alistair rubbed comforting circles on the back of Cullen’s hands. “I know I’m not one to talk much about the Maker and His plan.”

That was true. Alistair shouted his opinions from the battlements when it came to the Chantry, its treatment of mages, its treatment of Templars, its insistence on lyrium use in Templars — Maker bless him, but he could rant for hours about that. But about the Maker and Andraste, he was suspiciously silent. He never joined Cullen for Chantry services, and Cullen could count on one closed fist the number of times he’d seen Alistair pray, but Alistair never stopped him from doing those things, either.

“But what if,” said Alistair, “the Maker planned for us to find each other not because either of us deserve it, but so that we could help each other? What if He brought us together so we could both become better?”

A chill ran up Cullen’s spine, making his skin break out into goosebumps. He’d never thought of that before, but …

He liked it. A lot. Alistair wasn’t a prize to be earned; he was a Maker-sent miracle so Cullen could be redeemed.

“Please don’t,” Alistair said, as if he could read Cullen’s thoughts. Perhaps he could. That would explain how he always seemed to know what Cullen needed. “I’m not flawless. You’re helping me as much as I am you. We are equally in dire need of someone to take care of us.”

Alistair grinned, and a gentle peace settled over Cullen.

“So now that you’re feeling a little better,” said Alistair, “I _need_ to be in your arms right now. How does that sound to you?”

Cullen took Alistair’s face in his hands and placed the lightest kiss he could manage on that smirking mouth. Then he wrapped this wonderful man in his arms and whispered, “That sounds perfect.”

(625)


	12. Want One?

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298047).

(983)


	13. Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This fic contains toxic amounts of awkwardness. Brace yourselves.

Alistair paced a few times in front of the door to Cullen’s office in order to calm his nerves. Then, before he could change his mind, he knocked on the door and waited.

“Enter,” came that mellifluous baritone that Alistair could never hear enough of.

He did so, finding Cullen, as expected, hunched over his desk, quill in hand.

“Warden Alistair,” Cullen said, looking up. “Did you need something?”

 _Warden Alistair_. So distant and formal. Ohhhh, this was such a bad idea. What had he been thinking?

“Um …” he cleverly responded. “I, uh …” Damn it, he’d practiced this! “When was the last time you ate?”

He cringed internally. That was not even close to what he’d practiced.

Cullen frowned, and Alistair couldn’t blame him. What kind of a stupid question was that?

“I ate a late breakfast.” Cullen waved a dismissive hand. “What can I do for you, Warden?”

 _Have dinner with me_. That’s all he needed to say. Nothing more.

“You know it’s dark outside, right?” Humor, yes. Always a good fallback. “In the evening.”

Cullen looked out the window and seemed surprised. “Ah.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I suppose I haven’t eaten in a while, then.”

Alistair couldn’t help a smirk. Cullen was adorable when he rubbed his neck. “You don’t say?”

Cullen stood and shuffled some papers. “I apologize. What did you need from me?”

“Dinner,” Alistair blurted, because of course _now_ the words flowed.

Well — word.

Maker, he was such a mess.

Cullen raised an eyebrow. “I daresay you might have more success in the kitchens.”

Alistair’s brain debated for a long moment whether Cullen believed he was an utter moron or had actually cracked a joke. Then the tiniest quirk of Cullen’s mouth gave him the answer, if not, unfortunately, anything approaching composure or charm.

He let out an unnatural, uncomfortable laugh. “Haha — ha — ha — yes, of course. I’ll — I’ll see you later, Cullen.”

And he spun around, making a beeline for the door.

“Alistair?”

He froze with a wince, smoothing his face before he turned back around. “Yeeees?”

“Did you come here for the express purpose of asking if I’d eaten?” Cullen didn’t sound offended or amused, just confused.

Alistair couldn’t decide which was worse, and his face burned in mortification. “Um, well, word around here is that you work, uh, a lot, and I thought you could …” He shrugged, giving up and wishing the Maker would strike him down and put him out of his misery. “Use some food.”

“Did you —” Cullen cleared his throat. “Did you wish to invite me to dine with you?”

Alistair laughed again, only slightly less uncomfortable than before. “You mean that remains unclear despite my suave mastery of language?”

Ah, yes. Self-deprecating humor. His best chance at escape.

He flashed his best _I’m such an idiot_ grin. “That was the original intent, but since it failed spectacularly, maybe you can forget this ever happened while I go somewhere dark to die of embarrassment. Tell Hawke I died as I lived — making an utter fool of myself. Goodbye!”

His hand was on the doorknob when Cullen spoke. “Better a fool than a coward.”

Alistair turned in time to see Cullen, face as scarlet as the fur he wore, straighten.

“Yes.” Cullen lifted his chin. “I should like to dine with you. But only, um —” Here he dropped his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck once again. “Provided you were asking for personal reasons.”

Alistair gaped. “Yes!” He cleared his throat, and he knew his own face was on fire. “Uh … yes. I would — yes.”

Cullen smiled shyly, and Alistair thought he might die on the spot from the sheer adorableness.

“Perhaps we should …?” Cullen nodded to the door.

“Yes!” Alistair agreed. “I’m starving.”

Cullen crossed to the door and motioned for Alistair to exit first. He raised an eyebrow at him as he closed his office door behind them. “Perhaps you need someone to ensure your diligence concerning mealtimes.”

Alistair grinned. “Are you volunteering?”

Eyes twinkling, Cullen seemed to consider it. “I hardly require more duties to keep me occupied. But I might be convinced. To keep you from starving, of course.”

“Of course,” Alistair said. After a moment, he added, “You’re not a coward.”

Cullen blessed Alistair with a lopsided grin. “Nor are you a fool.”

Exchanging nothing else but smiles, they headed to the kitchens together.

 

(735)


	14. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While trying to think of various kisses and sweet moments Cullistair could share, I realized that I've never seen the infamous battlement scene with them. So here it is.

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298353). 

(1795)


	15. Lost

This chapter has been published as chapter 1 of a separate fic titled [Lost and Found](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307755/chapters/53281936).

(1068)


	16. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a sequel to Chapter 15, [Lost](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18555559/chapters/44900824).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Mention of/reference to broodmothers and all the triggers that come with them.

This chapter has been published as chapter 2 of a separate fic titled [Lost and Found](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307755/chapters/53282017).

(3367)


	17. Confidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I try harder to keep the word counts low? Absolutely.
> 
> Do I want to? No! I have so much to say!

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298881). 

(1676)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was originally going in a different, much lighter and cheekier direction. But it got angsty (I does what I do), and I feel like credit for the shape of the emotions should go to Womby ([Gowombat83](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gowombat83/pseuds/Gowombat83)) and this Cullistair poetical waxing:
> 
> "Cullen is perfect for Alistair because Cullen would fucking CHERISH him! And doing so would give Cullen something to live for, would give him strength, and comfort. And Alistair deserves to be cherished, and Cullen deserves all the patience and love and comfort Ali would give him in return. They would be so wholly and uncompromisingly devoted to one another. And they would each believe to the very depths of their soul that they were the luckiest man in the world to be loved by the other."
> 
> Such poetry, and a perfect description of how I see them <3


	18. Sacrifice

Cullen had spent the entire day worrying about something the Inquisitor said that morning. But he couldn’t get up the courage to ask Alistair until they were in bed, candles blown out, holding each other in the darkness.

Alistair lay with his head on Cullen’s chest; Cullen ran his fingers up Alistair’s back, feeling the goosebumps rise, heart pounding at the idea of an answer he both did and didn’t want to know.

“Can I ask you something?” His whisper sounded like a shout in the late-night stillness.

“No,” Alistair mumbled against his chest.

Knowing Alistair as he did, Cullen ignored that an continued. “This morning the Inquisitor mentioned something … about when you were in the Fade.”

Cullen could not see Alistair, but he felt his entire body tense; he knew this was still difficult for Alistair to discuss, but he needed to know.

“What about it?” Alistair’s tone was neutral — not casual, but neutral.

This did not fill Cullen with hope and confidence.

“She said …”

He swallowed. There was still time to end the conversation. What if he didn’t like the answer Alistair gave?

“She said you both offered to stay,” he forced out before he could second-guess. “She chose Hawke, but you both offered.”

Alistair said nothing. Perhaps he was waiting for Cullen to get to the question part. Cullen sure was.

Cullen’s arms tightened around Alistair, perhaps a reflex in response to what he feared the answer would be.

“Why?” he asked, so soft he wasn’t quite sure he hadn’t thought the words instead of spoken.

Alistair squeezed Cullen tighter, which was a small comfort when he responded, “I’m a Warden. The Wardens caused this whole mess. It seemed right that a Warden fix it. ‘In Death, Sacrifice.’”

It was the calm, quiet resignation of that last phrase that prompted Cullen to continue. “But what about us?” he asked plaintively. “We finally found each other. You said it was …” His voice warbled. “How could you —”

“Don’t.” In an instant, Alistair was out of Cullen’s arms and sitting on the edge of the bed. “Don’t you ask me that. You, of all people, know that some things are bigger and more important than —”

“Love?” Cullen heart nearly burst, the melancholy threatening to overwhelm the pure joy he felt at finally speaking the word aloud after everything. He reached out to caress Alistair’s back, but Alistair stood abruptly, jerking away before he got the chance.

“Stop it,” Alistair snapped. “Don’t pretend you wouldn’t have done the same thing to protect the Inquisitor or anyone else under your command! Don’t act like this somehow proves that I don’t — that I’m not —”

In a smooth, swift movement, Cullen rose and wrapped his arms around Alistair, who buried his face in Cullen’s neck and just … breathed. Shaky, shuddering breaths, but accompanied by him gripping Cullen tight.

“It doesn’t mean —” Alistair gasped.

Cullen rubbed his back in comforting circles. “I know. I’m sorry. I was just so —”

“I know.”

After a moment of pregnant silence, Cullen whispered, “I love you.” Though they'd discussed how they felt before Adamant, now was the first time he’d said it aloud. “And I thank the Maker that you returned to me.”

“I love you, too.” Alistair tightened his embrace. “And Maker forgive me, but … so am I.”

Cullen lost track of how long they stood there, holding each other half-naked in the dark, just … being with one another.

Eventually, he gently guided Alistair back to the bed, and they lay down as before — with Alistair’s head on Cullen's chest, legs intertwined, each holding the other in his embrace.

It hadn't been long enough, Cullen knew. They'd only reconnected a few months prior. But once again, in the darkness, he found the courage he always lacked during the time when Skyhold bustled with activity.

“I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.”

Alistair lifted his head, and in the moonlight filtering through the roof, Cullen saw his lovely brown eyes glitter with unshed tears. But he'd never seen Alistair so earnest.

“I promise you,” Alistair said. “I'll always come back to you.”

“You can't —”

Alistair caressed Cullen's cheek, and _that_ prompted a tear to finally escape.

“You have my word,” Alistair said as he brushed Cullen's tear away with his thumb. “I will _always_ come back to you.” Then he smirked. “And the one time I won't, you'll know, you know?”

Cullen's heart hurt at merely the thought of the Calling, but he decided to follow Alistair's now-grinning lead and rolled his eyes at the unfunny and inappropriate joke.

“Aw, not even a hint of a smile at my charming gallows humor?”

Cullen could never withstand the full force of Alistair's grin, and in spite — or perhaps because — of the topic of discussion, he tilted Alistair's chin up so their lips brushed.

It was meant to be a simple peck, but as they met, the kiss grew in intensity, desperation and fear and love deepening the connection to something far more precious than a simple meeting of lips.

When they finally broke apart, both short of breath, they rested their foreheads against one another.

“There is one condition, though,” Alistair said.

Cullen froze. “What?”

Alistair softly stroked Cullen's hair. “You have to promise to do everything you can to make it back to me. Can we agree to that? No unnecessary sacrifices?”

Cullen nodded. “I promise.”

And he sealed his vow with a kiss.

 

(578)


	19. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt, from Gowombat83:  
> “You know those languid, unhurried kisses that you feel down to your toes, that heats your skin and makes you feel like you don't need air, you don't need anything but to keep kissing?"

The feel of fingers stroking through his hair sent a shiver through Cullen.

“Mmm,” he sighed. Maker, it was glorious.

He heard a soft huff of laughter. “Cull, honey, wake up. This can’t be comfortable.”

The sound of that voice launched him into consciousness. He jerked, pushing himself upright, and his eyes snapped open to reveal the sweet, grinning face he hadn’t seen in far too long.

“There he is,” said Alistair, hand brushing Cullen’s hair aside and circling his ear before laughing out loud — though quietly, as if intent on waking no one but Cullen in the darkness. “Hard at work, eh?”

He removed a piece of parchment that had become stuck to Cullen’s cheek.

“You’re adorable when you drool,” Alistair said, still whispering.

He was in his armor, squatting next to Cullen, who had, apparently, fallen asleep at his desk.

Cullen ran a hand down his face, wiping away any remaining sleep (or drool), and frowned. “Do you know what time it is?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Alistair’s grin was a sight for Cullen’s sore, needy eyes. “Why are you still at your desk?”

“I was waiting for you to arrive. But it seems far later than midnight.” In fact, the last time he remembered checking, the hour had been one.

Alistair nodded, his eyes roving Cullen’s face the way Cullen’s were likely staring at his. His smile never wavered. “We were delayed. It’s after four. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

Cullen smiled and shook his head. “It was hardly trouble. I wanted to see you as soon as you returned.” He ran his hands along Alistair’s shoulders and down his arms, reversing the motion, and repeating. “Maker, I missed you.”

He leaned forward, and Alistair met him halfway. The kiss was slow and languid, their mouths taking time to reacquaint themselves. Cullen breathed in the familiar, comforting smell that was Alistair, slightly marred by the metallic scent of armor and the filth of the road, and even though he hadn’t left Skyhold for a moment, he felt more at home now than during the entire month Alistair was gone.

After some indeterminate amount of time — Cullen didn’t know or care how quickly time was passing — he pulled Alistair up and into his lap, where they embraced each other fully.

“No armor?” Alistair asked between kisses.

Cullen chuckled. “I officially finished my day after dinner, so I changed. I was just writing some letters while I waited.”

Alistair cradled his face and smiled. “You’re going to have to rewrite that last one. There’s ink smeared all over your face!”

Cullen frowned, but Alistair pressed his lips somewhere near his temple and said, “Here.” He kissed the apple of Cullen’s cheek so gently he elicited goosebumps. “And here.” A soft, slow kiss to Cullen’s jaw. “And here.” The side of his nose. “And here.”

Cullen’s cheeks hurt from smiling so hard, but he raised an eyebrow. “Anywhere else?”

Alistair shook his head. “Nope, that’s it.”

He had only a moment to grin before Cullen grasped the back of his head and pulled him into another slow, deep kiss that made Cullen’s toes curl. He didn’t require food or water or air. Everything faded away except for Alistair, here and safe and in his arms, and the only thing he needed was Alistair’s mouth on his.

That was all Cullen knew — sitting in his desk chair, Alistair in his lap, unhurriedly holding and kissing the man he loved and had missed like a piece of himself for the past month — until a knock on the door and a mortified, stuttering, quickly retreating scout with a handful of reports signified the official start to Cullen’s day.

 

(616)


	20. Hold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20, woo! Milestone! (Even if I've moved the goalposts a few times.) Onward to 50!

Alistair managed one look back before the Inquisitor closed the rift, imprisoning Hawke, _his friend_ , in the Fade forever.

Cold and numb, he stared at nothing until someone pulled him to his feet — pushed, poked, prodded at his wounds.

Then a voice, deep and commanding, broke through. “I’ll see him now!” it barked, just before Cullen burst into the tent and fell to his knees in front of Alistair, grasping his face desperately.

“She’s gone.” Alistair’s voice cracked.

“I know.” Cullen pulled him close. Alistair slid off the bed to his knees and let Cullen hold him, cradle the back of his head, rock him. “I’m sorry. But thank the Maker you’re safe.”

The cold and numbness in Alistair’s chest warmed and began to thaw, and though the grief spread like wildfire, he knew, somehow, that everything would be all right, if Cullen was there to hold him.

 

(148)


	21. Where It Counts

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298752). 

(1675)


	22. Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Earlier this week, I had an awful day at work. Well, the day wasn't so bad, but the conversation I had with my supervisor was ... unpleasant. It's never fun to be told that you need to work on things, and I tend to take all criticism to heart. (It's not that I can't take it; I take it _too much_ to heart and worry that my mistakes cause more damage than they do.)
> 
> This fic was written as a response to that. Here, Alistair is me, while Cullen is a combination of my more rational brain, my boss, and my loving and supportive husband. I've always identified with Alistair, and I think his insecurity in his own abilities is a large reason why. I've also been told I can lighten a moment with appropriate humor, which is, in my opinion, one of Alistair's most admirable traits. So when I decided I needed to write my feelings, the setup seemed obvious.

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306084). 

(1516)


	23. Mail vs. Plate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this one was inspired by the latest chapter of [tollofthebells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tollofthebells/pseuds/tollofthebells)'s _[A World Alone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16370282/chapters/47783035)_ , in which her Inquisitor Ellinor is injured after refusing to wear the armor (mail) that Cullen insisted on. He is concerned, she admits he was right but doesn't want him to be mad, he says he's not mad, just worried and upset she was hurt. While the scene was perfect for her Inquisitor and Cullen and also utterly adorable (the whole fic is, give it a read!), a part of me wanted him to be wrong and get called out on his overprotectiveness. So I thought about Cullen and Alistair, and this fic popped out.

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306165).

(1561)


	24. Uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kiss was inspired by a [tumblr post](https://laarne.tumblr.com/post/163432351510/no-offense-but-the-soft-uncertain-kiss-followed-by) I saw yesterday, which talked about the wonderful trope of "the soft uncertain kiss followed by a pause where the people look each other in the eyes and then fucking pull each other back into a more passionate kiss." I decided I wanted to write a Cullistair kiss like that.

Cullen hadn’t been able to focus on his duties at all after the Inquisitor and her companions had fallen into the Fade. He’d been instructed — by the Iron Bull, no less — to “Take a break and trust in the Boss.”

And he’d tried. He really had.

But he couldn’t. Because the one person he cared about most in all of Thedas had fallen into the abyss with her, and if they never returned —

Cullen wished more than anything that he’d realized his feelings before now, when it might be too late. The very thought of never being able to express just how much he cared, how he had fallen in love, shattered his heart and left in his chest a deep, empty abyss of his very own.

And then he heard calls of “Inquisitor!” in the courtyard, where demons still poured forth from the hole the Wardens had ripped in the Fade.

He sprinted across battlements, through covered halls, down flights of steps. He drew his sword and readied his shield, prepared to fight for the life of the man he needed more than the very air he breathed.

He arrived just in time to see Alistair emerge from the green light of the rift, shoved out and to the ground, followed by the Inquisitor, who landed on her hands and knees next to him and spun around to close the portal.

Verdant lightning shot from her mark to the rift, brightening with a rising cacophony until it exploded in a shower of green sparks.

When Cullen had blinked the after-burn from his vision, he raced toward Alistair. Dropping his sword and shield, he skidded to a stop and fell to his knees before the man he loved, like he would before Andraste herself.

Alistair, like the others the rift had expelled, was filthy, bloodied, and desperately attempting to regain his bearings. But he was _alive_.

On instinct, as though he’d done it a million times, Cullen took Alistair into his arms and pulled him tight to his chest. To his immense joy and relief, Alistair slumped wearily against him and returned the gesture.

“Never do that again,” he murmured into Alistair’s ear. “I cannot lose you. I simply cannot.”

“Cullen.” Half-question, half-sigh, his name in Alistair’s voice filled Cullen’s heart to bursting.

He pulled away enough to take Alistair’s face in his hands, to look into those beautiful, teary, golden brown eyes, to drink in the sight of the man he thought he’d lost forever.

The world seemed to still as they gazed at each other. Cullen’s heart pounded so hard he feared it might explode, and yet he couldn’t breathe.

Without another thought, he leaned in and pressed his lips against Alistair’s, and for one blessed, eternal moment, nothing else — not the Wardens, not the Inquisition, not Corypheus — mattered. Nothing but Alistair, alive and whole and here in his arms.

In the next moment their lips parted, and Cullen opened his eyes — he hadn’t even realized he’d closed them — to see Alistair gaping at him, unmoving.

Mortified, Cullen felt his face heat. What had he been thinking?

“Alistair, I —”

Then Alistair lunged, throwing his arms around Cullen’s neck and cutting off Cullen’s apologetic explanation with a kiss of his own, as confident and passionate as Cullen’s had been soft and relieved, saying far more than mere words could contain.

Cullen returned the kiss with as much vigor as he could force into a simple meeting of lips, clutching Alistair tightly to his chest and praying his actions expressed just as much as Alistair’s did.

_I love you. I need you. I cannot live without you._

Soon, they would need to return to reality, but right now, Cullen held everything he needed in his arms.

The rest of the bloody world could wait.

 

(637)


	25. The Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, 25 chapters! I've ultimately failed to meet the requirements for "drabbles," but I can keep them short enough for one-shots (usually). Thank you for reading, and here's to 25 more!

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306498).

(1895)


	26. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first sad one.
> 
> Content warning: discussion of impending death(s), thoughts on end of life.

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306954).

(1283)


	27. Last Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nothing like a near-death experience to make you ... not like death much."

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307062).

(1913)


	28. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen hasn't seen Alistair in over a year. A lot can happen in that time.

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307200).

(1833)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by my very first (anonymous) ask on Tumblr:  
>  _"So I was thinking...how do you think Cullen would react to bearded Alistair? The thought has been running thru my mind for the past couple of hours._ 🤣 _"_


	29. Red Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair learns that Leliana wasn't the only one of the Inquisition's advisers Trevelyan and Dorian found in the bowels of Redcliffe Castle in the Dark Future. He does not react well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: attempted suicide.

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307437).

(1924)


	30. Forever and Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is ordered to rest, and Alistair makes sure he does. In his drowsy state, Cullen hears things he isn't supposed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw _Frozen 2_ this weekend, and realized how much 1) Kristoff is basically Alistair, and 2) I LOVE KRISTOFF (and Alistair). I needed something sappy with one of them, so here's some really mushy Cullistair.

This chapter has been published as its own separate fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307560).

(1191)


	31. The Big Finish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, it's not a sex thing.

This "fic" of "kisses" seems to have run its course, which is due to my utter failure to 1) keep things short, and 2) keep things as "kisses." The original intent was to collect a series of drabbles that were short, simple Cullistair kisses in 100 words or fewer. Since I gave up on the drabble thing around chapter 12, these one-shots have taken on lives of their own, and I think they deserve to be their own fics.

So I'm marking this as "complete" officially, as it has evolved beyond its original purpose. All new one-shots (and perhaps a few of my personal faves from here) will be published under the series [Cullistair One-Shots](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604995). If you follow this and want to continue (no pressure!!), subscribe there. **Coming Soon:** A bodyguard AU(!) and answers to a couple of adorable prompts.

Thank you all for being amazing and awesome! It's due to you that I'm still writing these little Cullistair fics.

P.S. While I'm sad to end this fic on an odd-numbered chapter, 31 is a prime number, so that's a little consolation.


End file.
